HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
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