Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I looked at my own cervix.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
