the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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