Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
