5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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