"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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