So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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