College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
