So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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