what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
