well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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