there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
