I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just took my morning after pill in the library
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
