I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
