i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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