im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We left the knife in your bed.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize