where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
