Heybabeimwearingurpanties
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
