I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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