I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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