How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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