ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
