where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
