At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
