They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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