Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
