I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
