4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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