Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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