i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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