i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
