I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
