found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Randomize