and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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