she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
