names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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