I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
