There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
