he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
