I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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