Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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