my mouth tastes like poor choices
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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