Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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