Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
