Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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