dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize