U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
