We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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