I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
