So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
