best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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