they need to just BURY HIM!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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