Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
