i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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