Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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