Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
