he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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