I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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