just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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