Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
