is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
