There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
