...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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